Are you feeling lonely? Sometimes this can feel like numbness, emptiness, and confusion. Unfortunately, this feeling can drive us even further away from others. If you answered yes, you are not alone. Statista.com found 33 % of adults worldwide experienced loneliness in a global survey.
According to Marissa g Franco (psych, New York best times seller ‘platonic’). Loneliness can be as toxic for us as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.” “Our social connections matter more than exercise in life expectancy. “
Why are we lonely? Quite often technology gets the blame here yet It’s so much more complex than that it. Watching tv that is not the problem, it is how much TV we watch and with who. Watching a movie together as a family ,can be amazing bonding time especially when we can share the experience. If we can talk about it the movie , share how we feel about it can help us connect. Is this the same as binge watching a series by yourself ? No. But is one right and one wrong . No again! It’s about how much you are doing it. If you are using technology to remove yourself from reality and not engaging in relationships instead, that is where we start to see trouble. Smart phones are the same. Blaming technology is not the answer. Learning how to use our time constructively and prioritising is.
Loneliness also creates a chronic stress state within the body. Meaning your body is not working optimally. It is on a state of fight, flight or freeze. Within time, you will start to see the negative consequences on your mind and body.
Why do friendships matter? Dr Franco says “each friendship brings out different sides of ourselves.” We may have different friends for different purposes. It is also good to have 2-3 friends that you can trust, so that if things shift you still have connection. People change, that is a fact. I love the quote “Friends for reasons, seasons and lifetimes. “Not all friendships are supposed to last for ever.
Dr Franco suggests that making new friends as an adult takes intention and effort. Start by looking inward. What are your interests? How can you start or join a community in that interest? The key here is to meet regularly. If you find someone you connect with, show an interest. You could also reach out to an old friend that you have lost touch with.
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