Experts, like William Dodson, M.D., “estimate that children with ADHD receive a full 20,000 more negative messages by age 10, on average.” That is heart-breaking. Society has created ideals that don’t work for a neurodivergent brain. More people need to understand that being different is not only just ok but also wonderful for a diverse community.
What can we do to create strong, resilient individuals?
- Focus on the strengths. If you see any article about ADHD/ADD it will post probably talk about the difficulties. It is also very important to highlight the strengths of our children. We can help them by finding the things they are good at, their passions and the things that light them up. We can show up by showing interest in these passions. We can ask questions about the topic and spend quality, uninterrupted time with our children.
- Positive reinforcement. We can focus on the positive and more positive feedback than negative feedback. We can praise their achievements and progress. It’s also great to unpack failure, teaching them that it doesn’t matter how many times you fall down but rather, how many times you get back up. That is really where resilience is built.
- Find a team. Having the right team behind our children and your families is vital. It’s important to remember that every neurodiverse child is different. The more information we have from the right specialists, the more we can understand their weaknesses, support them and also where they can excel.
- Get support. Having a neuro-divergent child comes with its challenges. It’s important to make sure we have our own coping mechanisms in place as an adult. When we are less reactive or on edge, the less an argument can escalate.
- Awareness. We can teach our children that our value and worth is internal. That we are worthy as is, with all of our faults. Sometimes the school environment can be harder for neurodivergent kids. This is where the right team and support can guide us to find the best path for our children.
- Learn. I love the Maya Angelou quote “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” The more we learn and engage with our children, the more we can help them to be their best selves. This also means looking inward and improving ourselves. ‘We are all a work in progress.’ We need to pay attention to how we talk to ourselves.
- Body posture and language. Amy Cuddy says in her Tedtalk” Your body language may shape who you are”, that body posture can dramatically affect our self-esteem. She says that when we expand and open up, we show power and feel powerful in the moment.
Neurodivergent brains are not wrong, they are just misunderstood. It is our job as parents to help them find the right path, to become resilient, independent , successful individuals.
Do you or your child have ADD?ADHD? Join a community of like-minded moms here.