Resilience is our ability to change and adapt through difficult times.
Lehan Stemmet says in his Ted Talk (change your brain and resilience), that neuroplasticity allows our brain to keep learning, growing and developing. In his research in stress science, he found that resilient people know the difference between needs and wants and that these individuals contributed to society, and therefore creating purpose and meaning and significance. He says resilient people forgive easily and don’t hold grudges. So according to Lehan, to become more resilient we need to:
1.Prioritise,
2. Give back, and
3.Forgive easily.
What can we learn from falling down? From struggle, from suffering.
I thought I was so aware of life’s struggles. I grew up with a sister that was born with SMA (spinal Muscular Atrophy). A rare genetic disease. She was diagnosed as a young toddler and then given a life expediency of 5 years. Through these difficult years, my family taught me so much.
My mom would always go all out for my twin sisters’ birthdays. She recognized that each one was a gift. Our strength was and still is a force. SMA wasn’t something my sister went through alone. We always faced these struggles together. We took shifts when she was hospitalised. We cried together, we pushed through together. I may have been naive, but I thought that living through this pain was my lesson. I thought I had learned gratitude butI was not done.
When an opportunity for my little family to move to California arose. We jumped on it. Unfortunately, I needed to leave my family (Mom, dad and siblings), to start over in a new country. This was incredibly tough to leave them but also to learn a new culture and a new way of doing almost everything. My kids did not adapt as quickly as I expected, but with time and patience it became easier. With hard work and lots of “putting “myself out there found my people; I found joy again. I learned through this change that in the past, I did not show others empathy in this same situation. I thought I knew how hard moving was, but I had to go through it myself to really understand.
Yet, more lessons.
I always thought I could get through anything, as long as I had my partner (and my kids) by my side. So, when we received a cancer diagnosis in early 2026. It rewrote what was important. It made me realise that we take things for granted, even though I had learnt so much about gratitude and empathy. Ordinary things that were thought were difficult before the diagnosis seemed so unimportant now. All I wanted now was time. Time together. Today I appreciate every day. I appreciate the good days and when my husband has energy and feels ok and even the hard days because at least, he is still here. I learned that being a caregiver is hard; I have a new respect for people who have been through this. Seeing a loved one in pain and struggling really breaks part of you.
I don’t know what the future holds,
Or how this will play out but I do know that I need to keep going, because I am someone’s mom. I have two kids that need me, that depend on me. I don’t get to fall down into a pile on the floor BUT I don’t have to do it alone. No matter what, I have people in my life that love me and will help me get through anything.
Showing up is their power! So that I can show up.
Need help creating your own Burnout Recovery Plan? Check out my podcast where we dive deep into Burnout Recovery for exhausted and overwhelmed moms
You don’t need to do this alone. Join our tribe here and get your Burnout Recovery Guide below
M x