Blog - Michelle Pitt Co

9 Things you need to do BEFORE pregnancy

So, it has happened. You have decided to have baby. Congratulations!

Schedule a checkup. It is always good to visit your gynae for a checkup before trying to conceive. They may want to run some blood tests or discuss certain things with you, like medications you might be taking.
Start taking folic acid supplement. This is suggested for 1 month before you conceive as well as in your first Trimester to cut down your chances of having a baby with a neural-tube defect. Also, check that you are not taking too much vitamin A as this can cause complications too.
Cut the habit. Quit smoking! The sooner the better. Not only does it cause damage to the woman’s eggs it can also cause the ovaries to age pre-maturely.
BMI check? Are you a healthy weight? Making the right food choices are so important. Choose whole foods, vegetables and fruits in a variety of colours. Make sure you are getting enough vitamin C, zinc and iron, calcium in your diet too. Proteins like chicken, beans and legumes are a great part of a healthy diet too.
Cut down drinking alcohol as much as possible. Try sick to the one a day rule or less if possible. Alcohol alters estrogen levels, which may interfere with egg implantation.
Exercise. Get busy 30 mins a day, 5 days a week. Try to include fun activities that you enjoy. Stretching exercises like yoga and Pilates can be very beneficial too.
Manage your stress levels. Using mindful techniques like meditation or yoga are fantastic. It would be a great time to book a massage as this adds to the de-stress focus.
Visit a dentist, if you have not for the last 6 months. The hormonal changes can affect your gums.
Remove or stop taking birth control. This one is a given, stop taking the pill, remove the UTD or stop using whatever contraception you were using. Give yourself some time for your body to regulate and your period to return consistently. Avoid lubricants going forward; rather use something natural like olive oil.
Establish a support system: It is a great idea to hire some help and get them trained up before baby even arrives. You will have so much on your plate that just knowing the washing is handled can be a huge relief. If some paid help does not fit into the budget, then try chatting to family and assessing how and when they are available to help?

Try not to stress too much about it. Most couples are pregnant within a year of trying. Enjoy your last moments of peace. Go see movies and go out to dinner too. Those nights out are going to be few and far between when baby arrives.

Parenting

Healthy relationship with food?

How do we teach our kids how to have a healthy realtionship with food?

We need to eat to live. It is not something we can just remove from our lives if it stresses us out. We should be putting a lot more focus into learning and specifically teaching our children how to eat in a healthy way. This does not mean no junk or “yummy” food ever. Quite the opposite. We need to teach our kids moderation. We need to give them the control to make the right decisions. This will empower them to live healthy, happy lives.

This starts with us, with the parents and specifically the moms. We form the backbone of the family. We also control most of what our families eat. So, moms, in a world where the dieting /health industries make up Billions of $$$$ “s, we need to ask ourselves what is our relationship with food like? Do we eat regular meals? Do we sit down to eat? Are we eating in your car? On the run? Do we emotionally eat?

This is important, our children watch and mimic everything we do. They learn what is ‘normal” from us. We have a responsibility to take this seriously.

It is time to get our habits right and be good role models for our children.

How much to eat?

It is vital that we and our children learn portion control. An easy way of doing this is looking at our hands. The palm area for protein. A closed fist for starch. An open fist for vegetables and a thumb for fats.

As they are a bit older and wanting to make their own decisions about their meals, they must understand the calories in versus calories out concept.

It is also great to teach them how to read food labels. This allows them to make better decisions.

When to eat?

This has been over complicated over the last couple of years. We need to learn what hunger feels like and that it is a cue to eat. If we are not hungry first thing in the morning, that is ok. We can break our fast (breakfast) later in the day. The timing is based on what works for us and our bodies, as well as our schedules.

What to eat?

Oh man, I could talk about this for hours. The important thing to teach our kids is : you cannot be on a diet/lifestyle plan 100% for ever. Then it is not the right diet/eating plan for you. Yes, some people swear by keto and others are vegan. The key thing is that you are not restricting to the point that, at some point you will binge. The binge-restrict cycle can be incredibly damaging to your body and self -esteem..

A focus on eating 80% whole, natural foods (they do not have more than 3 ingredients on the box) or ideally are fresh produce and 20 % less healthy foods allows for flexibility and moderation.

It is important to mention knowing the difference between a food intolerance and allergy at this point. Just because a friend cannot eat Gluten, does not make it bad for us. It makes it bad for that person. Remember moderation is key.

Where to eat?

In an age of fast everything, we have made food and eating an inconvenience. We no longer sit down as a family to enjoy a meal. We eat on the run; we eat pre-packed foods and do not give ourselves time to enjoy how wonderful eating can be as an experience. Slow down and enjoy your meals with loved ones as often as possible.

When not to eat?

When you are not hungry – simple right, but think about the last time we forced our kids into eating a meal that they may not have necessarily been hungry for. When this happens we lose the ability to eat when we are hungry. Another is to eat for comfort, when we are sad, when we are stressed. We should rather teach our children how to manage stress. How to express their feelings and use other coping mechanisms. We should choose better words to describe people. Rather use healthy and unhealthy instead of fat or skinny. We can use those for foods too. That delicious ice-cream is not as healthy as your supper. So, we have it every now and then.

Want to create better healthy habits for you and your children?

Join my Fb group here or pop me an email for a free 20 min discovery session where we chat about if my wellness coaching for moms’ package is the right fit for you?

Michelle

Health And Fitness

I broke up with my gym and lost 7…

Yup, that’s correct but let us just get clear about how I picked up those 7 kg ‘s in the first place. When I first started hearing about COVID-19 in January / February 2020. I thought it was an ‘overseas thing.’ I never in my wildest dreams thought it would end up impacting our lives as it has.

In March, the unthinkable happened, schools and non-essential business were closed. The impact on our family and many others caused stress, anger, frustration, and fear.

Trying to work, look after my kids and keep our house going was hard but the thing that was even worse for me was the isolation. Yes, I had my husband and kids, but I missed my mom and dad, my sisters and brother and of course my friends. I felt trapped, exhausted, and alone in many ways. Chatting on a video call just was not the same.

So, what I did to survive was cook and bake. We set up fun, Zoom baking days with my sisters. I found old family recipe‘s and tried them out with the kids. I cooked meals to full our family with happiness and hope. Even though I picked up a whopping 7 kg’s over this time. It kept me sane and sparked a love of cooking that has stayed with me.

Like many families we were also affected financially by the pandemic. We needed to cut back on our expenses and the gym had to go. This was a little scary as it had become my safe space over the last couple of years. A place where I could stick in my headphones and just let loose.

My only option to get back to myself again, create healthy habits and cut the extra lockdown weight was to create a new exercise routine and to prioritise it. I found some amazing people to guide me on the fundamentals and got started on my home workouts. From September to November 2020 I managed to cut 7 kg’s and find consistency in my workouts.

Exercise has helped me control stress levels, manage stress, and become stronger. I now try workout 5-6 times a week. I do a combo of weight training, cardio, hiit, yoga / stretching and pilates. Some days I try something new like kickboxing or a dance workout. It is fun to challenge myself and try something new. I try show gratitude everyday for being able to move. It thinks that it is something that we often disregard.

To be completely honest the weight only started to drop once I started to manage my nutrition. I follow the 80 / 20 rule. I try eating more unprocessed, highly nutritious food 80% of the time. I LOVE food and still indulge. I focus on my protein and eat in a calorie deficit. @Theleangirl has a cool calculator to help you figure this out. Plus, her tips include RSA food and restaurants which I love. Thanks to help from people like @Cartergood I have managed to really make peace with food and emotional eating. Having gone through his own weight loss journey, he really gets it. I personally love using the app @MyFitnessPal. It helps me have control and peace, but I realize this is not for everyone,

I have realized that you can find a healthy relationship with food, lose fat, and still eat the foods you love. How is you relationship with food going?

Personal Development

The Secret to being truly happy.

Robert Waldinger is the 4^th director The Harvard study. During this study 724 men from two groups were studied for an amazing 75 years. One of the groups were from Harvard and they finished collage during World War 2, the other group was from the poorest neighborhoods of Boston.

Robert goes on to say that the clearest message they have learnt through this amazing study is that good relationships keep us happier and healthier. He also says that the men that felt isolated or had high conflight relationships were less happy and lived shorter lives. The better the results were found in the higher quality of relationships rather than the number of relationships they had. They even saw these good relationships protecting their brains to a certain degree.

So, prioritizing and maintain good relationships are key in finding happiness.

Another thing we need to prioritize is finding what we love and making sure we spend time doing that thing. According to Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi “A person can make himself happy or miserable regardless of what is actually happening “outside” just by changing the contents of consciousness.” One of the best ways to do this is with Flow.

What is flow really?

It is the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter. There is no attention left over to think about anything else or to worry about problems. Time becomes distorted. It is an amazing feeling. You do not overthink and worry.

Czikszentmihalyi believes that the characteristics involved in flow experiences

Distorted perception of time. Time passes fast, even though you feel like it is slowed.
Lack of self-consciousness. So, absorbed in the activity that you have no more capacity to judge yourself.
Intense focus on the present moment.
Nothing else matters

So, when do we experience flow?

Flow is found in the sweet spot between anxiety (opponent far better than you) and boredom (opponent far worse than you.) Best scenario when your opponent is just slightly better than you.

Therefore, it is so important to find what we love and keep working on it. The ideal scenario would be that your job/occupation creates flow. As you spend so many hours doing it. Sometimes this is not always possible. I then recommend finding a few hours a week to complete a hobby or activity that create flow.

If FLOW is one of the secrets to being happy then what is holding us back?

Chasing superiority and comparing ourselves to others. We do this without even realizing. We seek others approval to justify our actions and our decisions.

As humans, mastering something is important. But how do we measure ourselves? Again, the easiest way is to compare we is to others. The most damage tends to come when we compare with others closest to us. This alienates us and damages that human connection we crave to be happy. Often damaging those relationships that we so badly need to be happy.

Sonja Lyubomirsky says in her book the “The How of happiness “Envy is a happiness killer” she explains how we cannot be happy and envious at the same time.

Sonja also says that about 50% of our happiness is based on our genetics. About 10% of our happiness is based on our life circumstances and about 40% is based on intentional activity. Just showing us that the way we think and behave is so much more important than “being rich “or “famous”.

Want to be happy?

Focus on building good relationships. Find what you love and try do it as much as possible. Spend time on intentional activity like gratitude and giving. Live your life in the present and stay optimistic

Xx Michelle

Health And Fitness

Losing the lockdown weight

My diet has not been what is normally is. Unfortunately lock down and Covid took a lot out of all of us and to be honest with everything that was going on, the last thing I worried about was the nutritional benefits or health aspects of what I was putting in my mouth. Even though i knew it would help. I still managed to move nearly every day. I walked around the house in early lockdown and then moved around the block once we were allowed out. I did yoga or Pilates a couple of times a week and really enjoyed it.

So instead of worrying about food I rather chose to really enjoy it. I baked with the children which they loved. This time in the kitchen ignited my love of cooking again and we really savored eating. And do you know what, we survived. We needed something to look forward to. Something to enjoy and share together.

Unfortunately, I reached a point where my pants got way too tight and started to feel super uncomfortable. I decided it was time to get back on track and prioritize my health again. This started off with changing some bad habits. It takes about 60 days to create a habit, so the key is small lifestyle changes that you can be consistent with. The biggest bad habit I picked up during lockdown was the sweets after dinner. I find that replacing rather than just stopping is easier. So, we went back to fruit after dinner. Obviously the first couple of days are a bit hard but time it really becomes easier until you do not think about it anymore. The other big thing is WATER. Have it around all the time and try for about 2 L a day. I find that if I am hydrated, I am far less likely to snack when I am not hungry. I started making progress with both aspects and then we went away for a well-deserved holiday.

This was a bit of a disaster food wise. The breakfast was a standard eggs, bacon, chips, toast, and sausage. It was also included in our stay. After that big breakfast we did not really need lunch but then ended up snacking (and snacking on empty calories without fibre.) Supper was very meaty. Ribs, schnitzel, etc all with chips. I also had at least two gin and tonics or Savannah’s a day. The salads and veg options were not great and there were no shops close by. So, I decided to just go with it and get back on track after the holiday when I had a bit more control. I hiked up the hill for the first couple of days and then I started to feel terrible. Stomach cramps, bloating, nausea, and heart burn. Heart burn? The only time I have had heart burn in my life was pregnancy. Surely these horrific symptoms were not caused by a week of bad lifestyle choices, but they were.

Once we got back, I cut out my alcohol consumption temporarily. I went back to my water and tried to eat whole unprocessed food. Almost right away the heartburn, nausea and stomach cramps stopped but the bloating stayed. My digestion was not great either (it is not great normally, so it had now become even worse) I really did not feel 100% and did not know what to do.

I decided to me needed to something a little drastic. I needed a complete reframe. I started looking into cleanses and did quite a lot of research. I finally decided on doing a 3-day juice cleanse. 3 days with no food and only juice. I have done a cleanse in the past for my immune system but never a juice cleanse. The company I decided to go with are based in the Cape and are called Juice Revolution. They include detox tea’s and supplements. The detox comes with an entire guide and Fiona, the owner has hands on with delivery and happy to answer any questions. The cleanse was pricey. I paid R1150 per person excluding delivery (This price may change) Here is a 5% discount code MICHELLE80507 (expires at the end of Oct 2020)

What did we get in the pack?

15 x 500 ml cold press juices
3 x 340 ml Nut Milks
6 x Detox teas
3 x Supplement packs.

So yes, there are many benefits of consuming fruit and veg juice:

They are high in vitamins and antioxidants
They boost the immune system
They can remove toxins
They could assist the gut to work more effectively.
You may feel lighter.
You may figure out any intolerances.

Obviously, there are also risks or cons involved too:

Drinking large amount of juice can put pressure on the kidneys (I have happy, healthy kidneys)
These sorts of diets are generally very low in calories. (Obviously, this is not ideal on a long-term basis, but 3 days will be ok.)
It may slow down your metabolism.
It may cause my blood sugar to drop and cause dizziness or light-headedness.
Feel sluggish and grouchy

So how did I do?

Exercise:

Before cleanse: Before the cleanse I was working out 6 days a week. 2 days of Strength training and one of Pilates /yoga and 3 days of cardio.

During the cleanse: I did light yoga for only 30 mins and a 5 min meditation.

What was the hardest part?

Roger thank goodness did the cleanse with me, but I did still have to prepare food for the kids over the 3 days and that was tough.
I missed chewing.
Coffee, I really wanted coffee, I normally drink decaf, so I am not sure what that is about.

Mindset is key

Did I get hungry?

Not as much as I would have thought. I had a moment in day one where I went to fetch the kids from school and did not take my next juice with me and my tummy started to rumble. The evenings were harder, and I was very thankful for the nut milk one at 5pm. It was something to look forward to.

Did I get brain fog?

I struggled to concentrate in the afternoons. I felt a definite lack in energy and was a bit moody.

Did I lose weight?

Initially I lost about 2.1 kg over the 3 days. This must have been mostly water weight or cleaning out my digestion as they weight came back over the next week. I did however see a huge difference in my bloating and my digestion. I did also find the mindset was amazing after.

So, was it worth it?

The reasons for doing the cleanse was for bloating, intolerance and to get my mindset on track and from that perspective it was worth it. I would not suggest doing a juice cleanse to get rid of a couple kgs.

Body Positivity

Can we body positive

and want to get in better shape?

Hell yeah!

Health is just as important and loving your body. You heard it! Exercise, the food we eat, controlling our stress levels, these are all things that are just as important for our mind as they are for our body but learning to be kind to ourselves is something we must just do.

Seriously, it is very similar to trust. It is a choice we make. We must actively need to stop comparing ourselves on Instagram and start showing some serious gratitude for what we were given. We need to stop looking at the flaws and rather love how they make us unique. Like with any new habit, this takes consistency and patience for it to become the new normal.

Especially if you are a mom. Our children mimic what we do. If they see a kicka#@! mom, that loves her body, they automatically follow that. If they also see a mom that exercises regularly and eats real, unprocessed food. That becomes their norm.

The worst part of going on a “diet” (which I have a serious issue with) Is waiting to see results. We live in this crazy world where everything happens so quickly. Fast food, fast living. Even transforming your body after having a baby, must happen right away. That is why is it so flipping amazing to see wonderful woman in the limelight getting honest about their not so perfect bodies.

Blake Lively said “I needed two personal trainers and a nutritionist to get in shape for her movie “The shallows’. She also said “it’s absolutely absurd for woman to pressure themselves to look like a model right after giving birth. “

Being Pregnant helped Amy Adams understand her true relationship with her body. She works out when she can and tries to eat healthy but losing weight was never her number 1 priority.

Drew Barrymore recently said in an interview with glamour “that it was important to not always portray yourself as perfect, especially on social media. ““She has been known to share make-up bare, pregnant photos , even a couple of them show her stuffing her face in.

The fitness industry is worth about $100 Billion and the fat loss industry is worth about $72 Billion. That is a huge market and it is safe to say so it is not going anywhere. It is our job to fight again this marketing that makes us doubt that we are good enough.

So, how do we stay body positive and get in better shape?

We learn to love our bodies.
We speak to ourselves, like we would a close friend.
We talk about our amazing bodies with our kids.
We share what normal looks like (no more photo shopping)
Normalize different types of people, we need images of people in all shapes, sizes race and even disabilities in the media.
We need learn what exercise we love and do enough of it to feel good and reduce stress.
We need to learn to cook, eat real food, and slow down.
We learn to take time out for ourselves.
80/ 20 rule. Eat healthy most of time but enjoy things you love too.

Cassey Ho posted a youtube video in the beginning of this year. You see she had been judged in the fitness world for not having a six pack. Lets just get real for a second here, not many women can have a visible six pack (rectus abdominus) as you need to get your fat % is incredibly low. This may be harmful to some woman and they will cause cessation of their menstrual cycle. So, let us have realistic expectations ladies.

Check out her video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncuh7cfF2RI

Cassie has faced incredible scrutiny for wanting to embark a 90-day challenge to improve herself. To change herself, for herself. In doing this, she was told she no longer represented body positivity. She needed to understand more about Body Positivity.

She recently reached out to Body Positivity founder Connie Sobczak. Her story alone is incredible. After many years of shaming in their own family, her, and her sister both developed eating disorders. Her sister also had complications due a problem with her breast implants that leaked and died way too soon at 36. After having a daughter, Connie really wanted to make an impact on girls worldwide. Find out more about body positive here .https://thebodypositive.org/

For more on body positivity join my fb group and learn more about getting in shape while staying body positive.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/Lifehacksformillennialmoms/?ref=share

Health And Fitness

How much exercise do we need to do…

to slow down aging, injury and disease?

Exercise. Love it or hate it, it is necessary for a healthy lifestyle.

For too long society has been way to focused on exercise being a weight/ fat loss tool instead of a wellness tool. We need to change our mindset and include it into our everyday lives. As a wellness coach for moms, I constantly hear moms complaining about not having enough time to exercise. Here is the thing though, by saying that we do not have time, we are saying it is not important enough. It means we do not prioritize our health and make time for it.

So why should we be making time for exercise?

Because it will help us delay aging. Who does not want to hold onto that youthful appearance and to age gracefully?

Science Insider says, “people that work out the most have a huge advantage”. “That cells in their bodies are significantly younger.” These scientists studied telomers in 5382 adults. These adults had different activity levels. What is a telomer? A telomer is basically a protective tip (chromosome structures) on the end of your DNA that protects it from damage. These suffer from wear and tear over the years causing aging. This damage can also make you more susceptible to diseases like cancer. The results of the studies showed that people that did no exercise through to moderate exercise had very similar results, yet the cells of highly active adults were nearly 10 years younger. They categorised highly active adults as ones that do 5-6 hours of walking or biking per week or 2-6 hours of running.

I guess we should be asking if that exercise is more important to you if you could have 10 more years with your family?

According to Newsweek, A study at the German Leipzig University found that running, cycling and swimming slows cellular again the most. They studied 266 inactive volunteers between the ages of 30 and 60 years old. Each of these volunteers were randomly given an exercise regimen. These individuals worked out 3 days a week for 6 months. Both the endurance groups and resistance groups benefited. However, those that were given resistance training like crunches and pullups also had a beneficial effect on inflammation. This helps us to see that we need to incorporate cardio (endurance training) and resistance (strength training) to our exercise regime.

Here are the Facts:

Regular exercise will also reduce lifestyle diseases like non-commutative disease.

The main culprits of these diseases worldwide are:

Heart disease.
Stroke and
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (copd)

Why do we get these diseases?

The Main Factors causing these diseases are

1.sedentary lifestyle

2.poor diet

3.obesity / smoking

Seeing as a sedentary lifestyle is one of the main reasons holding us back from a long and healthy life, we again ask just how much exercise is necessary? According to the world health organization we should be doing Cardiovascular exercise 5 days a week for about 30 min. During this exercise we should be getting our heart rate up to about 60-85% of our max heart rate. Cardiovascular exercise is important because it allows our heart and lungs to work, adjust and recover. This is vital for healthy functioning of these organs. “Cardio” as it is often called, is when we work any large muscle group and raise our heart rate for an extended period.

WHO recommends strength training 2-3 times a week (40 min) and suggests doing stretches after exercise for about 15 min. Alternately a yoga or Pilates session once to twice a week?

Health And Fitness

Healthy Beef Stroganoff

This recipe has been adapted from Ucook’ s Samantha Finnegan.

This delicious and nutritious supper takes about 50 mins in total but the time you are hands on is only about 30 mins

Ingredients

(For a family of 4)

300 ml Brown Basmati Rice

600g Free range Beef Stroganoff

250g Button Mushrooms

20 ml Beef stock

10 ml Dried Oregano

2 Onions

10 ml Meat Spice

40 ml corn flour

1 head broccoli

80 ml Smooth Cottage Cheese

Oil for cooking

Salt and Pepper

Water

Butter

Start with the rice. Add 750 ml of salted water to the rice. Wait for it to boil, once boiling simmer for 20 mins. Remove from the heat and allow to steam for a further 10 mins. Remove any excess water and fluff with a fork. Try to keep the lid on the entire time. As someone that either cook’s way too much rice or overcooks it.

This is pretty much full-proof. This kind of rice is also whole grain which is a win. Brown Basmati is high is phytochemicals as well as vitamin B, E, magnesium, iron and full of fiber. It may take a little while to get use to the nutty texture after eating white rice, but it is an easy switch with this yummy stroganoff.

Place a large pan over a high heat and add a splash of oil (Olive or Coconut will do). Cook the beef for three minutes until brown. Make sure there is enough space in the pan for the beef to cover the pan evenly. Season the beef. Once it has cooked, remove from the heat and cover. You can then add the mushrooms to the heat for 7-8 mins. Add the mushrooms to the beef once cooked.

The recipe calls for free-range and that often means more expensive. If you can afford the higher quality cut, then please consider it. It really makes all the difference is taste. Not sure if you should use olive or coconut oil. The taste is a consideration. From a health point of view, I would consider a high-quality extra virgin olive oil.

Fry the onions in the same pan, for 4 minutes, then add the meat spice, add the corn flour and continue stirring. After a minute add the stock slowly, to prevent lumping. (the corn flour allows the sauce to thicken). Then allow the sauce to thicken and reduce slightly. This can take between 10 and 20 mins. While the sauce is simmering boil the broccoli, once cooked, add to the mushrooms. Broccoli is fantastic for bone health, skin health and to boost your immune system

Once the sauce is ready you can add the meat and vegetables back to the pan for 2 minutes to allow everything to heat through. You can then add the cottage cheese and serve together with rice.

Cottage cheese is a great source of protein and allows the stroganoff to have a smooth creamy texture without the added saturated fat of cream cheese.

Enjoy!

Personal Development

How to find happiness after a pandemic?

2020 has been quite a year. It has disrupted life as we know it. I think it is fair to say that every single person has been impacted by The Corona Virus in some way or another. Many precious lives lost, many jobs and small business are no longer and we as moms are living in burnout. The world is a very different place.

So how do we start to pick up the pieces? How do we start again and gain some sort of normal? Do we live in limbo waiting anxiously for a vaccine? There is no perfect answer but there are strategies we can put in place to focus and prioritize our happiness.

Our first happiness sin

According to Raj Raghunathan from the Indian School of Business is de-valuing happiness. There are many ways we do this. Think about a sale at a shop you really like. An item is dramatically reduced but a similar item is full price. Generally, we will pick the sale item just because we will save money, rather than choosing the item we want.

The same scenario can happen at a Restaurant. After hearing those specials of the day, we might change our mind from something we prefer eating because of the ‘special price’. Now, these small choices might not make a huge difference in our lives but when you use this tactic in choosing a career or life partner, this can completely affect our long-term happiness.

Happiness and fulfilling relationships were picked as the top 2 life goals in a series of surveys done recently. Yet when we ask people the genie question (if you had a magical genie in front of you and asked you for your three wishes) most people wished for money, status and relationships. This shows us how often we forget to prioritize our happiness.

So why do we de-value happiness?

There are a couple of reasons. Sometimes we can hold negative beliefs about happiness. For instance, if your belief that ‘unhealthy food ‘is tastier, you will find it harder to enjoy these ‘healthier ‘foods.

Others feel that being happy will lead to being lazy, but the research says otherwise. According to phys.org happy workers are 13% more productive. In studies from the Queens school of Business, disengaged workers had higher absentee rate, 18 % lower productivity rates and lower job growth overall. With these kinds of numbers, it would make sense for more companies to be focusing on employee happiness.

Some People believe that being happy will lead to becoming more selfish. Quora.com sums it up perfectly “happiness does not make you selfish. Denying others of their happiness in order to have yours is a selfish act. True happiness comes from love, and real love is never selfish.

Another way we fail to see the value in happiness is in our lack of clarity. If we do not even know what our definition of happiness is, how can we strive for it. Instead we follow the very old-fashioned muscular approach of medium maximisation. Quite often that medium is money.

So, what is the first step in finding happiness after a pandemic? It is defining what happiness is to you. Once you figure that out, learn to prioritize these things.

Personal Development

Pre-natal Depression, Yup It Is Real

All my life I have considered myself strong, ambitious and optimistic. I always thought I could ‘pull ‘myself out of any negative feelings and generally I could. (This is something, someone who never actually had depression would say.) I obviously had weak moments when my emotions got the best of me. I found that those generally come around ‘that ‘time if the month or times of extreme stress and pressure.

That was until I was pregnant with my first born. At the time I blamed the excessive morning sickness (basically 6 months of non-stop nausea, and vomiting) a new job and all the other delightful pregnancy symptoms and emotions I was trying to process. I realize now that I was severely depressed and should have gotten help. I didn’t and the depression continued after my son was born however it never really seemed as bad as it was during pregnancy. I know now that Depression during pregnancy is a real thing and is normally referred to as pre-natal depression. This kind of depression less spoken about far less than his ugly twin, post-natal depression. There is a very big difference between feeling a bit off, because of the pregnancy hormonal imbalance and have a chemical imbalance in your brain. According to womansmentalhealth.org a mom that has Hyperemesis Gravidarum like me, is much more likely to develop pre-natal depression than someone that doesn’t have the condition.

Sings Of Pre-Natal Depression To Look Out For

Here are some of the top signs to look out for:

Persistent sadness
Lack of interest in things that you would normally enjoy
Disconnect from your baby
Trouble concentrating
Thoughts of suicide or death
Feelings of failure and worthlessness
Too much or too little sleep
Anxiety
Extreme overeating / under-eating

When you struggle with two or more of these symptoms for more than two weeks, it is time to get help. This is where I feel off the bus a bit. I realised that I had many of these symptoms and spoke to my partner, but I never actually saw a professional. I really should have. I should have listened to my husband who suggested it time and time again!! I see it now but at the time I thought self-diagnosis of exercise, massage and deep breathing would sort me out. I am sure these things helped but I needed therapy too! Once my son was 6 months old, I started going to Clamber Club classes. They become my therapy. My way of seeing that was the same as everyone else. No one else was sleeping. No one had it all figured out and those classes, those ladies were real, they were honest, and they helped me more than they even know.

I went to a talk recently by a psychologist and again these words hit me like a ton of bricks. I had no idea that the stress I was feeling could have affected my unborn baby. At the time, I was feeling guilty enough, that I wasn’t enjoying my pregnancy. I had this idea that it was going to be a magical time in my life and somehow, I was to blame for the way I was feeling. I now know that 14-23% of moms feel this way according to The American Pregnancy Association. I also know that if one mom gets help because of this post, then it was worth sharing. If you are feeling this way YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!, please get help. Don’t be embarrassed, we don’t make excuses for our body not working but I see many people including myself being scared to talk about depression.

My lesson, you can be strong, ambitious and optimistic mom and ask for -help 😊