Who knew that becoming a mom meant that you would officially be judged for every decision you made? I didn’t! I expected my all-access, full acceptance ticket to the mom club. We get judged about how we deliver our babies, what we name our babies, how we feed our babies and so much more.
My little boy Hayden goes to grade R next year and so a lot of the talk right now is about which school we have decided to send him to.
The words on everyone’s lips are public or private. I went through a stage where whenever this question was asked, I felt judged and general lack of acceptance of my family’s decision. We have made our decision based on what is right for my son and our little family and it is one that we are happy and confident with.
Why Mommy Wars Must Come To An End
There is no perfect way to be a parent, our parents are not perfect and we won’t be either. All we can do is our best and forget the rest (I think I may have just quoted Paw Patrol).
I read a recent article about us needing justification as parents and it made complete sense. If someone else agrees with the way we do things then we must surely be doing it right. And if our way is right then surely any other way is wrong.
We just need to pick the best way for us and it’s ok to change our minds too! As long as in our hearts, we are content.
I remember going to a baby shower when Lilly had just started solids and another mommy came over to me and commented, ‘Is that from Woolies? You should really try to cook your own baby food.’ I smiled politely at the time and may have even thanked her for her unnecessary comment.
Was it worth worrying about? No!
I was doing my best to raise a well-adjusted little go-getter and proud of that. The truth is, she needed the justification for how she was parenting and it had nothing to do with me.
This whole situation has taught me so much. It has made me stop and think before judging others even when we don’t understand their decisions.
We give other moms advice based on what has worked for us and sometimes the same thing won’t work for them. So maybe we need to support moms, give advice when they ask and trust that they are doing the best for their families.
Let’s work together against mommy wars ladies. Let’s not judge the mommy that wants a career or that mommy that wants to stay home to look after her kids. Let’s celebrate each other and offer our help where we can. Let’s support each other and be kind to each other.